Less Mailbox Wincing

Posted on October 9, 2013 by Tom Trimbath

I barely winced. Earlier this week I got out the checkbook, rummaged around for the bills, and paid them without wincing. Until recently, anxiety attacks lived on the periphery of visiting the mailbox, opening the letters, and checking my bank balances. Some think people with little money casually disrespect their obligations. The opposite can definitely be the case. Negative reinforcement piled on negative reinforcement is emotionally painful to people who pride themselves on fiscal responsibility. I was glad to clear that hurdle.

Did I mention the other hurdles that are off to the side? I’ll get to those in a while.

This ride I’ve had through several of America’s economic classes can methodically be demarcated by financial statements, balance sheets, income and expense reports, and plenty of graphs. Maybe I’ll do that some day. The more important distinctions have been emotional.

  • True wealth = pre-pay bills. Take something like a utility bill, pick a big round number and pay months worth. Opening the bills for subsequent months was merely checking to make sure the remaining credit is more than the current bill. Very free-ing. Bills were quickly handled and ignored.
  • Somewhat more than enough = pay the bills as they come in, for the exact amount. Reasonably unemotional, actually an innocuous chore, readily handled. The credit card companies might not like the fact I paid off the balance every month, but hey, that’s what everyone agreed to. Congratulate myself on a small chore well-handled.
  • Barely enough = pay the bills on time, but maybe time the payment to maximize my return, or to leave the door open for optimism. Some do this no matter how much they have, but when it became a necessity it it became a risky game playing on the borders of grace periods. Opening the bills was almost always a non-event, but surprises did happen. A bit of adrenaline kicks in as cash flow is checked, maybe savings were tapped; but my mood returned to normal soon enough. Ah, but the lingering doubt of less frequent expenses like insurance remained.
  • Enough for some but not for all = Certain bills are easy. If the bill is semi-monthly and totals less than a lunch, it gets opened and paid quickly. That became a mini-celebration. Unfortunately, there are also bills that can’t be paid, that might lead to foreclosure or even bankruptcy. There’s no way to know which bills are in the box. My anxiety would kick in as I decided to go out and get the mail. Opening that little door was like postal Russian roulette. An empty box was a great relief. An unfamiliar letter would be enough for me to call a neighbor or a friend to stand with me as I opened the envelope.
  • Barely enough for the basics of survival = I never got there, but I could see it from where I stood. And I know others have lived there for years. I don’t know if deep down they become inured or cynical or fatalistic, though I know their surface emotions are usually either an appreciation for what is, or a rebellion against that which keeps them from what is not. I know I don’t want to experience the depths of that potential pain.

I paid my bills without wincing, but I’m very aware that I shoved some of the hurdles to the side. I’ve paid all my bills, except for the mortgage and my homeowners association dues. Propane is probably coming up soon. There’s an entire field of hurdles that are deferred maintenance on the house, my truck, me, and my stuff. As regular readers know, as of October 1st I have enough business that I’ll be able to pay a new mortgage in November – I think. (I still don’t know if there’ll be a mortgage modification, nor how much its monthly payments will be.) As of November, any extra money will go to things that should’ve received it months or years ago. At this rate it will take years to clear the hurdles.

The fall can happen fast, but the recovery takes longer. Maintenance is cheaper than repair which is cheaper than replacement; so, deferred maintenance becomes higher expenses. Making enough, or even more than enough, is a reason for celebration; but the celebrator is probably aware that getting back to where they wanted to be can be so delayed that they might as well have a small party now, and then too.

The wincing is not completely behind me, but opening the mailbox is easier. A friend even mentioned that my shoulders have relaxed. How much muscular stress and stress-related chemistry has my body had to deal with? Adjustments must be made, and for some I’m sure that involves a welcome return to chiropractic treatments long delayed. After a recent massage (thanks for those who’ve been negotiable) my head and sternum were sore because the muscles around them had been tight for so long. Relaxing the muscles was such a significant event that my bones ached. And I was glad.

Money comes and goes and hopefully comes back. Emotions linger. Just like repair work costs more than maintenance, the emotional cost of recovering from loss takes longer than the normal swings between highs and lows. I’m feeling better, and know my emotions are tempered by my experience. Others who are going through, or have been through, worse will have to devote more time to returning to “normal”. Some may be trapped there forever. If we really want the nation to recover, its apparent to me that supporting people financially and emotionally will speed the process. How much American productivity is lost to anxious reactions from our abstraction of money?

The nation, no, the government, specifically the federal government is shut down. Hundreds of thousands are going to have a different relationship with their mailbox. I hope that doesn’t last long, and I hope we recover quickly.

 

(Note to fellow bloggers: See how busy I’ve become? Less than 1,000 words in the main post. No links. No photos. No time. Gotta go.)

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Ceiling Shutdown

Posted on October 5, 2013 by Tom Trimbath

I can envision, “Shut down the dance floor. This party’s over.” “Shut down the trading floor. The trading day is done.”. The only metaphor that comes to mind for shutting down a ceiling are the climatic scenes where the heroes are about to be crushed in some trap. “Shut down all the garbage smashers on the detention level!” Our nation’s metaphor is mixed. The shutdown may mean we run into a ceiling: the debt ceiling. The results can get messy. In this bit of reality, we have to shutdown the shutdown if we don’t want to be squeezed. The shutdown affects millions. Crashing into the debt ceiling will affect almost everyone. Some are screaming into their communicators. Others are trying to brace the walls. Many are finding their own way out.

There’s an amazing amount of talent out there on the Internet. I knew if I waited long enough that someone would create a great entertaining video that does a very good, non-partisan job describing the shutdown. Thank you vlogbrothers. In fine fashion they point out that the root of the shutdown is the bizarre redistricting that ensures incumbents maintain their positions, and that emphasizes extremism. Politicians don’t represent districts. They represent factions, and will redraw the district lines and define party lines that make sure they and the factions are protected.

From my largely apolitical perspective (i.e. not D or R). the shutdown looks like the sort of dysfunctional institution that should be dramatically re-organized. (Bring in the organizational consultants!) The main motivation is no longer managing the country, but rather defending ideologies while preserving careers and power. We have become accustomed to such actions to the point that one defense I’ve heard repeated is that, “It’s always been this way to various extents.” Just because we have bad habits doesn’t mean we get to keep them, or that we get to inflict them upon others.

Remember personal finance? (Mine’s improving, and I thank you for your support.) One of the keys to improving personal finance is to understand the basics: spend less than you make, and invest the rest. It is also a sound business practice. It seems that it should make for sound governance, especially in a government that encourages a (relatively) free market. Yet, while many people and businesses follow those two rules, our government of the people by the people and for the people rarely runs a surplus and is rather lopsided in the way it invests. We spend more on shortening lives than we do on lengthening lives.

The shutdown comes perilously close to the debt ceiling. We’re received many lessons in raising the debt ceiling because we continue to bump up against our national credit limit. We already ran out of money, and now we are borrowing to pay the bills. In a couple of weeks we’ll run into our credit limit. Luckily, we can reset the credit limit, but only if the government is functioning well enough. The shutdown is evidence that well enough isn’t happening.

Government press releases are typically uninspired, accurate, require post-analysis, and ignored except by analysts and interpreters. The US Treasury released a bit of press earlier this week that broke that mold. They very clearly stated that,
“In the event of a default, the U.S. economy could be plunged into a recession worse than any seen since the Great Depression.”
Gulp. But we already knew that, right?

Maybe a public outcry will shift the Congress into action, but representatives are motivated by the votes from their districts. Of course, they aren’t motivated by well-funded interests from outside their districts because that might lead to corruption and we’d never have that. No. No. No. Without a change in motivation or incentives, behaviours don’t change. I suspect there’ll eventually be a resolution that minimizes the political impact and that leaves most of those involved in their positions – oh yeah, and restores the basic supports that millions rely on.

My concern is more on the personal level. So is the BBC’s. They even have a spot on their news page where they are asking to hear from Americans about the effects of the shutdown. I had fun filling that out that form. What are the personal consequences? For me, the shutdown has done little. The debt ceiling is much more likely to have a personal finance effect. (I also pointed out that people living in an earthquake/tsunami zone surrounded by volcanoes are better prepared to cope with disasters, from whatever source.)

The Treasury release mentioned,
“credit markets could freeze, the value of the dollar could plummet, and U.S. interest rates could skyrocket, ”
On a personal level:

  • credit markets could freeze – If it was hard getting credit a few years ago, it could be harder now.
  • the value of the dollar could plummet – Imports, including fuel, become more expensive. Exports sell better. It is a mixed blessing but one that usually balances against those relying most on the basics of life; because ironically, it is cheaper to live in America if you don’t buy American.
  • U.S. interest rates could skyrocket – Want a shock? Go back and look at a newspaper from 1980. Mortgage rates of 13% capped at 16%. Great if you are loaning money. Lousy if you are borrowing it. Also a time when those with money can make more money, and those without are left out. Our inequities become less equitable.

Such times are good times to be frugal, and to not tie your emotions to your money. I can certainly attest to the emotional trauma of massive monetary swings, but throughout it I know that I am not my money. I lamented not being able to pay my bills. I’m now on the cusp of celebrating paying everything, including the mortgage again (as soon as we reach an agreement). Those pains and joys were real, but I keep in mind that my self-worth has been more stable than my net worth. Personal responsibility is key to personal finance, but the financial world is not in our direct control. If it seems like things are rough and a bit irrational, it might be because things are a bit rough and irrational. The best sailor can’t expect smooth sailing when caught in a storm.

I’m continuing to work seven days a week (ala Rule of 7). Thankfully, my two biggest clients account for 39 hours of work each week. The other aspects of my business are gaining traction at the same time. Some of that work will be kept. Some not. As in any transition there is chaos and a bit of stress, which is where I am as I redefine my work life while trying to maintain the rest of my life. Amidst the national turmoil, I am working as hard as possible to reduce my debt, live within my means, and appreciate what life has provided. That’s what I can do. It doesn’t restart the government. It doesn’t move the government’s debt ceiling. But maybe enough of us living responsibly can succeed by providing examples that our representational government can follow. We’ll succeed because we didn’t shut down, and we made sure we stayed as far away from our ceilings as possible. And if they don’t listen, well, at least we appreciate our self-worth.

Remembering that there's work, and chores - and the rest of life, like dancing, or joining PhotoWalks.

Remembering that there’s work, and chores – and the rest of life, like dancing, or joining PhotoWalks.

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Timing Good News Maybe

Posted on October 2, 2013 by Tom Trimbath

A blog in two parts: Tuesday Evening and Wednesday Evening

Tuesday Evening

They said yes! Evidently they liked what I’ve done enough. I asked my two biggest clients (NRM & HCLE) if they’d double  my hours. Yes. And in one case, they even suggested I increase my hours even more, and gave me a raise. With those two increases I’ll make enough to pay the mortgage – that is, if the mortgage servicer agrees to work with me just a little longer. There’s a bit of a timing issue. Money isn’t everything, but you already know that.

Normally I post Wednesday and Saturday mornings. The idea was to post halfway through the stock market’s week, and then again at the close. The stock market seemed to be the only aspect of my book (Dream. Invest. Live.) that had a regular schedule, so the market decided my timing. As I type, it is Tuesday night. Wednesday morning’s schedule has only one item: the mediation meeting about the mortgage. Blog before? Blog after? I decided to do both. Habits have to change; and this story is told, and lived, over two days.

The meeting is a mystery to me. I’ve never been through mediation. I don’t know what to expect from the mortgage servicer or even who else will be there. Very little of the process has followed the kind of logic I’m familiar with from business, finance, or almost any normal interaction. Maybe logic will suddenly arise, just as it did when I met with the Fannie Mae representative at the end of May. Back then, the Fannie Mae representative listened to my story and surprisingly agreed with me that the main thing I needed was more time. It looks like I need a little bit more.

HCLE (History of Computing in Learning and Education) and NRM (New Road Map) were both agreeable to my increase in hours. There’s more than enough work to be done, and with a squeeze the money is available; especially, if I spend the extra hours looking for funding. (Anyone want to help fund a Virtual Museum about how teachers pioneered the entrance of computers into the classroom? How about supporting the effort to spread a more rational perspective on personal finance based on values-based financial literacy?) Put the two efforts together and 39 hours of my work week are accounted for. Very good. Put those two incomes together and I can probably pay all of my bills, even back bills and ideally a reduced mortgage.

Ah, but the mortgage servicer expected a payment at the end of September, well, every month since I bought the house. They made a modification offer that I couldn’t accept because I didn’t have the income. Tomorrow is October 2nd. Maybe I can accept an offer, but I can’t write a check for more than a month. My increased workload started today, yeah, but I don’t get paid until November. So, will they be willing to slide the timing two more months? I don’t know.

What I do know is that my life is changing. As I’ve said before, getting a job that asks for more hours makes work easier. When the workday is comprised of twelve disparate projects my mental gear changes wear out my mental transmission. Each project becomes a sprint with a great percentage of the time spent engaging and disengaging, making sure the right accounts are open, that the facebook account for one is not feeding the twitter account of the previous. Each project has its own pace and schedule, which means shifting perspectives and speeds a few times per hour.

With more time devoted to two large projects my mind can settle into a rhythm, can establish more of an endurance pace than an unsustainable sprint. With more time devoted to those projects, my other projects will have to find other times. So will this blog. Evenings and weekends, that I’ve been working anyway, will now be when my art business operates and when I’ll teach my classes – and when the blog gets written and published. I’ll even find more spare time because much of my days has been spent investigating other possibilities, applying for jobs, and putting energy into anything that makes any money whether or not it is core to my consulting and management business.

What I don’t know is where I’ll be doing the work. If they remove the threat of foreclosure, I can work from my house again, saving me commuting time (some of which I’ve enjoyed by bicycling), and greatly relaxing me as my house regains a sense of security. If the foreclosure proceeds, I guess I’ll be bicycling into work regularly in the winter, and then wondering where I’ll live next.

Timing. Months ago, losing my house would have meant being homeless (not that my friends would let that happen). Now, even if I lose my home, I’ll be able to afford housing – as of some time in November. That is a great relief.

Despite the good news, anxiety remains. A week ago I doubted that I could keep my house. Now it is possible. Will I or won’t I? Will they let me, or won’t they? A lot is at risk in one meeting; though, because of the timing, it is actually less than before. I wish I knew. Given time, I will.

Wednesday Evening

Well, that didn’t go according to plan. I arrived at the building just in time; despite bouncing my truck against the ferry ramp, getting lost in a city where I lived 30 years ago, finding a building that pointed to another building that pointed back to a different door at the first building, but I made it. Not the sort of morning to calm the nerves. Not the emotional state to walk into a mediation negotiation meeting. But at least I wasn’t the last one there. My counselor showed up right behind me. We hit the doorbell, waited for our entrance – and then found that the mediator and everyone else was scheduled for 2pm, not 9am. I’ve got work to do. I’ve got work to do to make the money that will mean I can walk into such a meeting and confidently and reliably state that I can may a modified mortgage, if it is like the previous offers. Some rescheduling was necessary.

Weird thing #1
It was suggested that by my not being on time for the 2PM meeting I might be considered to be not acting in good faith, even though I showed up on time as I was told to. Would the other parties be considered to not be acting in good faith because they didn’t attend when I was told to be there?

Weird thing #2
Rescheduling might take months. That would actually work to my benefit, as the foreclosure proceedings can’t proceed while mediation is in progress. But it is understandable that they wouldn’t want to delay much more.

Weird thing #3
Holding the meeting at the original time could work if I could just call in. That was deemed unacceptable, even though other parties call in when they can’t attend in person. So, different criteria apply to them than to me. So much for equal footing.

Weird thing #4
Even if the meeting takes place, I still haven’t received a letter telling me how much a new payment would be. I can’t responsibly write out a check and leave off the amount.

It’s been a weird day. It’s been a bizarre process. The process continues.

The good news from Tuesday night remains. Every day the good news improves because every day I am making more than enough to live, and if this delays long enough, I’ll finally have the bank account to show for it.

In the meantime, I’ll continue to adjust, change those habits built for a different circumstance, and look forward to good timing and good times.

And you’ll get to see these posts coming on Tuesday or Wednesday evenings. Some adaptation is required, and it is all for good reasons.

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Recovery Chorus

Posted on September 28, 2013 by Tom Trimbath

My world is changing, yet much remains the same. Good news arrived, unconstrained, without need for qualification. More good news is expected, equally unburdened. My prelude to optimism is being followed by an opening chorus of a significant jump in work, and therefore income. I might even be able to pay the homeowner’s dues in a month or two. Another bit of good news waits in the wings, ready for its cue to step out, sing out, and actually pay my mortgage – assuming the mortgage servicer likes what it hears. I sit in my house on a rainy Saturday morning, knowing that I just have to take one day at a time, yet wondering how much my life is about to change. Losses are usually quicker than gains, but both take adjustments. This adjustment is so long in the waiting that it is accompanied by a tone of disbelief. Time for me to believe.

Calling today a rainy Saturday morning is like describing the current economic climate as unsettled. The mountains surrounding Seattle are expected to receive 10 inches of rain. The winds across the waters are expected to gust to 55mph. There’s a tiny rain shadow that will protect the normally desert-like retirement town of Sequim, where even they’ll probably get a half inch of rain. One in seven Americans are living in poverty. Student loan debt swells because education costs rise while college degrees don’t guarantee jobs – leaving a generation working very hard to get very little and losing ground every day. But there are enclaves that are mildly impacted yet evidently feel besieged.

Today’s weather will pass. Maybe these progressively stronger storms are only in our perception, or maybe they are the beginning of larger and more systemic changes. (Step away from the blog to check the long term forecast. Good.) The storm and the ones that follow only last until a few more days. After that the forecast is only for rain. Hey, this is the world around Seattle, the Puget Sound, the Salish Sea, the Great Pacific NorthWet. Raindrops It is almost October, rain is normal. So is a bit of sun. Some day next week the sun will come out enough for homeowners to jump into a weather gap large enough for us to tax our lawnmowers. Storms come in and leave in little time. Cleanups take much longer.

My financial storm has lasted years. Yesterday there was a major break in the clouds because one of my major clients, the History of Computing in Learning and Education Virtual Museum, agreed to double my hours. There’s more than enough work to do. Step one is basically finding enough money to get that work done. (If you were in a classroom as a teacher or as a student anytime between 1960 and 1990, this Virtual Museum means to chronicle those experiences. We learned a new way to learn. Care to contribute your time, story, or maybe even help fund the work?) My storm is the oft-referenced Triple Whammy. My recovery has slowly been gaining speed and just shifted into a quicker tempo. At this rate though, I’ll still be singing this song for years.

The good news is that there is more potential good news, but I don’t want to play that tune until enough of the key people chime in.

The other good news is that there is actual good news. My portfolio did nicely last week, thanks to GERN (which I sadly sold half of recently) and RSOL (which moved without news and I won’t complain.) That increase in liquid net worth is about as much as my increase in income; and with extrapolating and compounding could quickly become the stronger driver. Ah, but we investors and mathematicians know that extrapolation is risky in planning; yet, as I’ve said in my semi-annual review, just getting back to a rational market valuation for my portfolio, “I’d have enough to catch up on the mortgage and even pay off the credit card debt.” Getting to a rational market valuation by the end of the year would average out to much more than a thousand dollar a week increase.

Many who have listened to my tale have celebrated the good news, and I agree. I might even have a fine beverage this evening that isn’t from a box. (Actually box wine is fine, but there is a ritual to the sound of a cork being pulled from a bottle.) There will be a celebration if I manage to remove the threat of foreclosure. (A dance party may break out.)

Many who have passed through poverty share the celebration, then pass along the caution. Recoveries take a long time. Celebrate? Yes. But there’s a lot of work to do after the party.

One of the laments of any homeowner is the daily chore of maintaining the home, and keeping up with repairs. People who can’t pay their bills can’t pay for repairs. Years of deferred maintenance aren’t resolved with the first paycheck. Money alone does not solve all ills. Time must be spent re-arranging priorities, shuffling some of the larger items back to the top of the stack. Repairs take more time and money than maintenance, which means recoveries also cost more than just a few missed oil changes.

My good news is that next month I’ll be allowed to work more hours and receive more pay, which will arrive in the first few weeks of the following month. My meeting with the mortgage servicer is in four days, and may focus on my inability to meet the payment schedule that is due in two days (which also involves a letter apologizing for making an error in the payment estimate while not telling me what the new payment number is.) I may celebrate today, but the real improvements from this news are weeks away.

My recovery will take time. Storm cleanup will take time. (Ask anyone in Boulder.) The nation’s recovery will take time.

This blog is about life and money and personal finance, but rarely about equations and frugal lifestyle tips. At least for the last few years, this blog has been more about the emotional side of personal finance. We hear that finance is to be handled without emotion. I believe that should be true for professional money managers so we can better assess their skills, strategies, and tactics. But the personal part of personal finance must involve emotion. Compassion during the tough times. Celebrations when there’s good news. Coping during any time of stress; and stress exists whenever there is change whether for bad or good.

I sit here in my home this wet morning, practicing yet another change. This is the first day in months when I feel secure enough in my house that I don’t feel the need to retreat to a workspace ten miles away. I am back in my home and am beginning a recovery.

So, why is my house still for sale? Ah, that's another post.

So, why is my house still for sale?
Ah, that’s another post.

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A Possible Prelude Of Optimism

Posted on September 25, 2013 by Tom Trimbath

I have a litany of optimism. Regular readers have read it before: stocks, consulting, books, photos, house sale, windfalls. I’ve spent the last three years recovering from stagnant finances that then imploded. My litany of optimism has been a daily mantra that got me out of bed, was repeated as I looked at emails, repeated in the shower, repeated during my commute, repeated after every opportunity for improvement proved itself to be yet another normal moment in an unusual episode of my life. Imagine if you will, the possibility that optimism arrives in plural form. The litany becomes such a chorus that I can’t sing it all at once, or include it in one post. This post isn’t that post. This post is the possible prelude.

Preludes, (not the Honda variety), set the tone without revealing the depth or detail of what follows. This prelude fits that description because it may seem more like a teaser or trailer, than a main event. For those that have read so many of my dour posts, here’s a post that hopefully marks a transition to more pleasant news.

In no particular order other than I chose it for the opening line:

  • Stocks: My portfolio recovery hasn’t happened in any great fashion, but GERN has more than doubled in the last few weeks; good things are being written about RSOL; and MVIS continues to tantalize with potential that could be announced any day, maybe by April, or unexpectedly delayed, or probably a mix we can’t predict because that’s the way the world works. The irony is that I sold half of my GERN to cover some bills and guessed that MVIS would move soon enough to buy those share back. Well, yes, that is possible; but, it will cost more than before. But hey, my portfolio inches upwards.
  • Consulting: Business has never been better, or more fun. September was a continuous sweep of clients, several of whom expect to return, a few who’ve decided to start in October. Peter Jungman and I have identified a joint consulting business opportunity – with details to follow. (Though I do like the idea of providing monthly checkups to small businesses on a subscription basis.) There’s even very good reasons to believe that there may be a dramatic increase in billable hours.
  • Books: Walking Thinking Drinking Across Scotland Book sales rise and fall, and it is encouraging to see my most recent book, Walking Thinking Drinking Across Scotland, is usually number in search rank for “Walking Scotland”. It is a trip, pardon the pun, to get a higher search and sometimes sales rank than Lonely Planet. As it sell, others sell. Passive income is a good thing.
  • Photos: The holiday season approaches and by request I established an online gallery for cards. Winter Resilience - from Twelve Months at Lake Valhalla Optimism. I even celebrated the passage of an era. The last of the satins from Fringe was sold to a couple from Vancouver, B. C. Artists know the feeling; sad and glad to see it go.
  • House sale: My house is for sale! Okay, most of you already know that. Picking the price is the hard part. Having it confirmed by a neighbor putting their house up for sale was a relief. The house across the street went up for sale at just below my price. Anyone want his and hers vacation cottages with a marina in the neighborhood and views of the Olympics?
  • Windfalls: I leave that door open, by at least buying lottery tickets. The world delivers surprises. Some can be very nice.
  • Unexpected Goodies: Maybe these are windfalls, maybe these are the consequence of years of steady effort, but I’ve been asked to teach a class in Abstract Photography, iPhone Photography, and to reprise my Social Media class. Each inspiration came from a different source. All were unsolicited. All are welcome. Now I just have to figure out the details: schedule, pricing, content, where to find time to breath, etc.
  • Others: Undoubtedly, but you’ve heard enough. But I will say that I welcome autumn and the chance to dance. The lawn and garden can wait a few more weeks. Right?

My litany isn’t as important as the existence of a litany. My successes aren’t as important as the fact that something is happening, or maybe about to happen. It is possible that my first book continues to sell because its title suggests perseverance and persistence, “Just Keep Pedaling“. I suspect more people are away of Winston Churchill’s quote, “If you’re going through hell, keep going.” Whatever personal battle you’re going through, the simplest response is to just keep going. (Note: If you’re in a hole, quit digging unless you can dig through a planet. If you’re in a rut, quit rutting? Nah, that’s the wrong word. If you’re in a rut, take a look around for a path with a bit more freedom.)

Sudden losses happen more frequently than sudden recoveries. Disasters happen more frequently than lotteries are won. There is time to dwell and doubt during a recovery. Numerous times within the last few years I was convinced, or at least eagerly anticipating, good news. The sudden recovery hadn’t happened. It may yet. The good news I’m seeing hints of may prove to be yet another Lucy pulling the football away from Charlie Brown moment. But walk far enough and mirages actually turn into oases. The trick is finding the strength and will to keep walking.

The prelude is welcome, but there’s an urgency to the beat. Next week’s Wednesday blog post may be postponed because that’s the day when I meeting with the mediator, the mortgage servicer, and the mortgage counselor to talk about whether I can keep my house or if they have to foreclose. At best, as I walk into that meeting I may not have the money in my account (unless one of those windfalls happen), but I may have letters of intent. Maybe that will appease. Maybe not.

To my Facebook friends, I can’t add much more detail to my cryptic post.
“How to phrase and share possible good news that requires discretion and hope and includes significant uncertainty without raising expectations? At least I can pass along that I’ve heard the most significant financial encouragement in three months. A bit more good fortune and I might be able to get out of the threat of foreclosure – if the news is confirmed and in time. If I wasn’t at work I’d be having a drink. Guess I’ll have some tea and get back to work.“
I hope to fill in the details with good news in good time. And I hope that others finally get their good news as Erin Waterman has. Maybe Angela sells her tiny house. Allen’s Savvy Caddy wallet sales kick in. And more of us experience unexpected successes from casual acts like David Sharpe’s Going Viral.

Coupeville – David Sharpe

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A Scottish Anniversary 2013

Posted on September 21, 2013 by Tom Trimbath

Three years ago today I was on an airplane heading to Glasgow. I needed a vacation. Life wasn’t flowing the way I’d expected. Of course, the economic turmoil was hitting everyone. There were doubts about whether we’d make it through. My main stocks (AMSC, DNDN) were doing well, yet appeared to be stalled despite progress in the companies. I was frustrated from delaying dreams; yet I knew that just a little more and I could launch into some of my grander plans. Maybe it was best to step out of my routine, step aside for a while, let things improve, and then step back in. I decided to commemorate a success. Ten years earlier I bicycled across America. Just Keep Pedaling Something simpler and shorter and outside my normal routine would be to walk across a smaller country. I did. A vacation changed a life. A book was born. I remembered how to live and dream.

Originally, today’s post was going to be about upgrades and our emotional attachment to brands, things, and external ideals. Apple’s iOS7 continued my disillusionment with Apple. I continue to prefer their solutions to the Windows operating system, but to me it seems that as Apple has grown they’ve begun to acquire some of the less appealing traits of their competition. The two are growing into each other. I’m interested in investigating a third solution, at least for my business computer. I liken the selection to the political party choices. Both have defenders, but their arguments for choosing them are usually based on a contrast with the other, not an appeal to what I might find interesting or useful. The emotional responses and defenses of a brand were as vociferous as if I’d made a claim against liberal Democratic Buddhism or conservative Republican Christianity. I’m a customer of a company. I am dissatisfied with my service. That is not a fault or flaw of the customer, and is an opportunity for a company to offer an improvement. I am a citizen of a representative democracy, i.e. a republic. I am dissatisfied with what the parties offer. If they want to represent me, then it is their opportunity is to address my interests; not a cause for them to convince me that I am wrong.

I wrote Dream. Invest. Live. Dream. Invest. Live. because I see personal finance as personal. Standard formulas only apply to standardized people. People aren’t stereotypes. People aren’t identical copies with identical situations and identical luck. Life is primary. Living your own life is the only reason for being here. The reason you are here is to be you. No one else can do that. Our society tries to provide some capacity to allow for individual freedom, but it uses an abstraction called money as a way to manage our resources. To live your life, you have to pay your bills. Conventional wisdom focuses so much on money and bills that it only tangentially acknowledges the uniqueness of each person’s lifestyle. Dreams provide a goal. Those passions define a life. Investing is merely the step we’ve decided is necessary to manage everyone as they try to attain the life they prefer.

Walking across Scotland Walking Thinking Drinking Across Scotland became a three week meditation on what I wanted. Before I started I felt a great dissatisfaction despite living in reasonable comfort. I had enough for the bills, but not for the improvements. I was almost living my dream, but that lifestyle remained out of reach regardless of my efforts.

Within the world of investing, particularly investing in the speculative stocks I am drawn to, it is easy for a portfolio to swing through more than enough to pay for a trip to Scotland. The optimist in me hoped my portfolio would grow by more than the cost of the trip by the time I got back. That didn’t happen. The trip stayed on the credit card and my optimism had another three years appended to its patience.

Now, my net worth is one-twentieth of what it was. More than two years of searching for jobs have been unsuccessful. Home For Sale Over a year of trying to sell my house has been unsuccessful. Finding a way to appease my mortgage company has been unsuccessful. Yet I am optimistic. I frequently write about my sources of optimism as portfolio, job prospects, business prospects (some of which are akin to jobs as this point), housing prospects, and an open door for windfalls and serendipity. Yet, my greatest source of optimism is the firmest foundation I can imagine. I know what I want to do with my life. I know how I want to live it. I know how little that takes. That lifestyle is so basic, simple, powerful, and wonderful that advertisements look embarrassingly silly. Do they really think I’m going to get that excited about mouthwash? Or feel shame that I am not using a manly skin cream? What is a manly skin cream? I don’t even use shaving cream. Haven’t people heard of soap and water?

It is a gross understatement to say that my money is tight. I agree with friends when they celebrate the fact that I can pay all of my bills except the mortgage, but the opposite perspective on that is the need to double my income. Every day I am more in debt by about as much as I earn, and if I don’t make that much money soon I’ll lose my house. The responsible part of me cringes every time I realize that and I realize that several times a day. I realize that every time I check my email for good news, or refresh my portfolio screen for good news, or guardedly answer the phone or open the mail box not knowing if it will be good news or bad. And I am amazed at the quiet crowds of people in far worse conditions. (One in seven Americans are living in poverty. Will we finally do something when it becomes two in seven? How about three in seven?)

The Scots are stereotypically tight with money. I said above that individuals aren’t stereotypes. But with that imagery in mind it was easier for me to yet again consider frugality and simplicity while I walked. There was a moment the morning I walked away from Fenwick

Along this path I found joy - because it is everywhere. Surprised me.

Along this path I found joy – because it is everywhere. Surprised me.

when I tired of the complaining and arguing and railing against the misfortunes and injustices of the world and just for that moment felt joy. It hit me pure and without embellishment. Joy was there – always. Better shoes, a better jacket, a better smartphone, a lack of worry about how I was going to pay for the trip and if I was ever going to get ahead were all betterments that I wanted as if I would find joy at the other end of them. But joy was there regardless of stuff or our abstraction of money. The gap between dreaming and living doesn’t have to be a great chasm of investing and working and worrying. The chasm can shrink to a blink if the essence of the dream is part of the essence of every day life.

That last bit of philosophy resides within me now. Daily it patiently watches the battles that separate me from it. While I know joy is simply being pleased with the present, it is hard to remember while responsibly reviewing my failed obligations whether they are mortgage payments, house repairs, or assurances to find time with friends.

Yes, this blog is about personal finance. Yes the book is called Dream. Invest. Live. The least significant words are Finance and Invest. The most important are Personal, Dream., Live. Thank you, Scotland, for reminding me how to personally live my dream.

Oh yeah, and getting emotional about a brand – well, at least for some folks, that’s life.

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Cycling Wants And Needs

Posted on September 18, 2013 by Tom Trimbath

Last night I received two invitations: one was to a meeting about transportation options and budgets, the other was to a free concert. I pick the free concert. Choosing between truck, bicycle, or bus is a seven-day-a-week need that must be answered so I can get to work; but, the nature of the meeting demonstrates why organizations and convention rule political discourse. The meeting is free. The concert is free. But attending the meeting will cost about two extra hours, enough cash to pay for a day or two of food, and put myself at risk getting there and getting back. The concert (actually the pre-concert lawn party) is on my way, and the hour and a half will be spent on entertainment with dear friends. I want, and am going to, the concert.

Back in May an overlooked, under-maintained, and over-worked bridge collapsed on the main West Coast highway leading to Canada. This was not a local issue. Freight from California suddenly was dramatically slowed as traffic had to be routed through a small city’s streets. A temporary bridge is in place, but the issue remains. Too many bridges are in need of repair. Budgets are too tight. Choices have to be made. Evidently, tonight’s transportation meeting is meant to address those choices and may include everything from bridges to bike lanes. The public is invited. I’m sure many will attend. I’m sure industry will be represented, or will make sure their voice is heard before, during, or after the meeting. The freight must flow. Like I said, I won’t be there because the free meeting costs too much.

More than two years ago my finances were hit by a Triple Whammy. I’ve always lived a frugal life, but those choices that were made at leisure with an emphasis on what I wanted were subsequently made based on need. As finances diminished and as I began working seven days a week, my bicycle increasingly replaced my truck for chores.  The truck was reserved for things I didn’t want to risk or couldn’t carry on the bike: my art, my books, my computer, my camera; or, for those times when time was critical. Meetings in scattered locations could be met by bicycle, but time is money. The bus could only work if I wasn’t carrying much and only needed to go to one place. Besides, the closest bus stop is more than 1.5 miles from my house, only runs on weekdays, and has two hour gaps in its schedule.

Our nation and our selves have many unmet needs. We’ve always had unmet wants; that’s the human condition. But so much money has gone to things that aren’t food, shelter, health, or infrastructure that we are overwhelmed with deferred maintenance. At some point, deferred maintenance must be prioritized, or it becomes more expensive repair, or even most expensive replacement. So, our bridges fail, schools aren’t repaired, and we have to make choices within needs instead of prioritizing wants.

Our selves are more on my mind. Individuals are facing similar dilemmas. The Bible says there will always be poor. But it is worse news if the number is growing. Despite the recovery, 1 in 7 Americans are considered poor. One in seven. One-seventh of our population and citizenry. One seventh of We The People. Ironically, these are the people that will have the roughest time attending a meeting about transportation options.

Bicycling is becoming an answer to a need instead of a choice for a want.
“Driving is down among younger Americans” – Salon Magazine
They can’t afford it. Student loans, underemployment, the price of gas and gas’ effect on their future environment are all disincentives to driving. I’ve bicycle commuted for over 35 years, but mostly from a want, not a need. Now, I am deeply aware of the fact that every day I use the truck to get to work I’m spending more on gas than I am on food.

Tonight’s meeting is basically the public side of politics, which I applaud; but, its nature exemplifies the growing inequalities in the system. If one in seven are in poverty, and if an entire generation is avoiding vehicles, then holding a meeting that is focused on transportation is focusing on those who can afford to attend it, those who may consider bicycles to be toys instead of the necessary choice to meet basic needs. The more you have the more likely the government will spend money on you. (I’m looking forward to hearing what Robert Reich has to say in his new movie Inequality For All. Tell me how it comes out. I’ll save the money for other bills.) The folks who need it most won’t be at the meeting or the movie.

Incredible to some, this is not political. I know politicos who can dive into that debate with great fervor. For me, it is a awareness of the impact on personal finance. Bicycling is a fact of my life. Fortunately, I enjoy it. Bicycle commuting costs less, improves my health, is nicer to the environment, and is actually fun. Bicycles can allow us to do much more than go to store. I bicycled across America. Just Keep Pedaling Whidbey Island, where I live, is positioned nicely to funnel transcontinental cyclists. Two nights ago I met a man bicycling from Alaska to Tierra del Fuego. A couple of months ago I met a woman who was bicycling to – well, I don’t know exactly where, but I’m glad I steered her back on course to the ferry.

Yet some realities are apparent. Cargo bikes are appearing. Trailers carry other things besides kids too. You might be surprised to see what bicycles can carry. Occupy Your Bike Fat tires win out over road slicks because they are more puncture resistant, and are safer when forced off the road. Carry the right gear to guard against the curse of the lack of budget that means blackberry bushes reach out and catch cyclists in the face (and yes, scars have happened), tree roots that create speed bumps (and sometimes necessitate swerving), and potholes that eat tires and cause puncture. Also curse broken glass, nails, screws, staples that are only swept away twice a year. Thank whoever invented the LED lights that run bright and long on cheap batteries.

Some transportation funds do go to aiding bicyclists. Bike paths are better than bike lanes which are better than bike routes; but they all are only useful if they have signs that say where they lead. Too many bike path signs lead on scenic tours instead of helping a cyclist get to a destination. And if you’re lucky a bicycle map exists for your area, and if you’re really lucky it will mark the best streets, the dangerous streets, the hills, and the places you can find support.

Usually though, a bicyclist should be prepared to be an unsupported individual with essentials like tools, spare tubes, a lock, lights, rain gear, luggage rack, and that ultimate safety feature: a cell phone. Yes, it costs money (but a lot less than repeatedly filling a tank of gas). Yes, some of it is even more necessary because of the level of support probably won’t change appreciably. One-seventh of the population trying to minimize their cost of living isn’t as noticeable as our bridges collapsing. What is noticeable and valuable is a local and active bike club. Find yours or make one or prepare to ride unsupported.

I look forward to the day when we don’t have to choose between people and bridges, when there’s enough budget to meet both needs. Until then, I’ll keep my tires pumped, carry lights and reflectors – and make sure I have a blanket and some simple picnic food for this evening’s concert. It is DjangoFest. Good music. Maybe some dancing on the lawn. Ah, there’s something I want.

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The Minutia Of Frugality

Posted on September 14, 2013 by Tom Trimbath

Skip the philosophy. Let’s talk about details. There’s a power to frugality that makes difficult things possible. Frugality is a mind-set, but that can be too abstract. Practical frugality is series of habits based on a simple idea. The abstract and the idea can appear daunting, but the practice can be as easy as necessary – especially when started as soon as possible.

From the outside, frugality looks like a prolonged version of Lent denying yourself the things you want because it is the right and noble thing to do. Some develop a pride in showing off how little they need to live; and the easiest way to do that is to draw the sharpest contrasts with luxurious lifestyles. Most don’t mention it.

From the inside, frugality can be simply asking the question, “Is this the best use of my resources?”, but few folks would use those terms. “Is this how I want to spend my time and money?” Many frugal folk go a step further and ask, “Is this how we should use our time and our money?” Give those thoughts some momentum and the question becomes, “Is this how we should spend time with each other and how we should treat our planet?”

Those simple questions taken to the level of the planet can launch into great public pronouncements produced by pundits. Those familiar with true debates know that very little of what we hear is actual debate. Most of the media is filled with proclamations and opinions supported by narrowly filtered facts. There is no resolution on public topics because there is no interest or incentive for those making the strong declarative statements. Their incentives are actually opposed to resolving issues. If they agreed they’d have less to say, and would get paid less.

The most impressive declarative statements I’ve heard are quieter and exhibit a firmer resolve. The frugal people I know are less likely to make statements at others. They are far more likely to question themselves. Their conversations are largely internal, very deliberate, and highly individualistic. Yet, they seem to be reaching a consensus by many paths and their answers are visible in the way they live.

I’m watching a trend that I call the “Walk Away Movement.” People courageous enough to examine their lives are aiming at sustainable lifestyles, supportive communities, and decentralized power – of both kinds. The movement is not marching on City Hall. The movement is a dispersion into independence or shared interdependence without organization, icon, or theme song. People are walking away from convention.

Questions others and I ask at every opportunity:

  • Why drive when I can bicycle, take the bus, or walk?  The answer varies depending on how far I have to go, what I have to carry, how soon I have to get there, and how safe it will be. My answer is drive, bicycle, bus, walk – but, the more I ask the question the less I drive and the more I line up errands to simplify my day. I spend less, get healthier, reduce stress, and get to dive into decadent comfort food more often. I asked that question enough times that I realized I could bicycle across America and walk across Scotland. Even road trips don’t require a car.
  • Why eat out when I can cook? As a college student and then as a young professional I didn’t have the money to eat out often. I did, of course, find money for beer, but hey, that’s part of being twentysomething. I practiced cooking by necessity and eventually found what I liked. My comfort foods changed from what was in the restaurant ads to basic home cooking. Squashed Pear Pie Why would I want to get in the car, drive, find parking, wait for a table, wait for a waiter, try to decide from a necessarily limited menu, wait for the food, trust the professional chef, and then wait for the bill – all for the price of a few day’s food budget. For far less time and money I can make a meal to my desires, include a very nice bottle of wine, eat in a far quieter setting, and enjoy a private and unrushed conversation with a dear friend. And of course I eat out, but mostly for expedience or because everyone’s dietary requirements are too varied for my cooking skills.
  • Why buy when I can make? And I’m not even very good at making. I made a three legged table that wobbled. Think about it. Making is fun, especially when it is not crucial to safety or legality. Then I’ll call in the professionals. The rest of the time, making something can be entertaining. It is an opportunity to play MacGyver. Do I really need to go into the wonders of duct tape and zip ties? Hardware cloth is amazing. So are blue tarps. Sandwich hardware cloth and blue tarps and some plywood and house the world. I’m still going to have someone else work on the septic system, but most household systems the incentives to living off grid is the joy of finding creative solutions. There’s an outdoor shower design I’ve used and enjoyed that uses nothing more than a black garden hose, a nozzle, and something like a truncated telephone pole. Hollyhock

The list is infinite. Everyone’s solutions are different. Bookshelves can be filled with variations, and that’s because when we step away from “what everyone else is doing” and question ourselves we find an infinity of answers. The answers look alike from the outside, but the details are apparent from the inside. A frugal life becomes a custom-designed life, unique and precious and appreciated; but possibly not applauded and frequently is unsuccessfully explained.

Frugality was a requirement for survival a few centuries ago. Then, frugality became a guard against hard times. Eventually, frugality distinguished one class from another until it became a sign of a lack of success, a suggestion of failure. Frugality fell out of fashion as civilization afforded greater luxuries, at least luxuries that were things. Our society became defined by consumption, which appeared sustainable when we had less than a billion people on the planet and had lower expectations. Now, seven billion people are using up three or four planet’s worth of resources and economies are becoming less stable. Frugality, a questioning of our best use of resources, is becoming its own fashion by necessity.

The Simple Living Forums and their host New Road Map Foundation are two examples and sources of frugal tools, resources, advice, and community. I am fortunate enough to live in a community populated by people who examined their conventional lives, walked away, (took a ferry), and settled on an island where an amazing diversity of solutions are naturally on display in every neighborhood. The minutia of frugality is all around me, ironically juxtaposed with a tourism economy that relies on consumption.

My optimism? Frugality uses resources as efficiently and respectfully as possible. A little goes a long way, and may also come back around again. As recoveries happen, as good fortune arrives, lives that already appreciate sunsets and quiet times will find ease that allow for more sunsets, and maybe more sunrises, and a love of every moment spent living a live inspired by wonderful answers to simple questions.

November Sunset - Twelve Months at Cultus Bay

November Sunset – Twelve Months at Cultus Bay

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Uninterrupted Momentum

Posted on September 11, 2013 by Tom Trimbath

Well, I won’t be mowing a lawn tonight. Life’s too busy. Work’s too busy. Well, work’s busy, not busy enough, but too busy for most of what I call life, including even mowing my own lawn. The rest of life is wedged into what’s left. My schedule is a bit dense, but good things are happening. We’re heading in the right direction. Yet, there are concerns. I have them. We have them. I think we’ll work through them. One handy tool: uninterrupted momentum.

Hmm, concerns along the way sounds like any journey prior to reaching its destination. I’ve been there when I bicycled across America. I’ve been there when I walked across Scotland. I guess I’m there as I make my way through my financial turmoil. Here it is, 5pm as I begin typing, and I’m wondering how far I’ll get in work today, and where my bicycle and I will be at sunset tonight. (Glad I packed a light and a reflective vest.)

We hear the wisdom that, “It isn’t about the destination. It’s about the journey.”; yet, we spend a lot of time planning as if we’ll reach the goal by aiming at it. Chaining ourselves to a target is unnecessarily constraining. Being totally unshackled from any plan or structure isn’t necessarily better because lives can wander into mazes and quagmires. Standing in one place doesn’t work either. Time makes sure that our selves, our place, and our environment change even if we try to lock everything into place.

I named my first book, Just Keep Pedaling, because that was the mantra that got me across America. I didn’t invoke it until I was climbing Cabbage Hill east of Pendleton, OR. Pendleton A two thousand foot climb. I had to look it up just now because I never looked it up back then. I knew I had to climb it, so knowing it was there was the only thing I needed to know. Part way up, when it was apparent that I was going to be in low gear for a long time, the simple realization came to mind that, as long as I kept pedaling eventually I’d reach the top. Truckers and cars gave me thumbs ups and encouraging honks. And, of course, I made it. I got to the top, celebrated by trying to call home, and then got back on the bicycle because I had tens of miles to go to find a place to stay.

Scotland was the same. (Walking Thinking Drinking Across Scotland) I almost used the title, “Just Keep Walking”, but that didn’t add much to the message. Vanishing Horizons Besides, it was fun adding “Drinking” into the title, while also slipping in the more important “Thinking”. Most importantly, I was really “Feeling” my way across Scotland, but feeling has too many connotations. I was exploring my emotions, but others would probably put Drinking and Feeling together into an image of a drunkard’s marathon pub crawl.

Making progress is easy when we are “cruising along”, “rolling down the road”, enjoying “smooth sailing”. It is too easy for troubles to “stop us in our tracks”. The trick is to acknowledge the interruption, decide if it will happen again and if there is any way to avoid it, and to then move on.

Too many people were permanently traumatized by the Great Depression. Most of the personal financial recoveries took years. Many took decades. Not everyone recovered. That’s especially true emotionally. Coping strategies can persist far longer than they are required, and engrain habits that were useful and powerful but eventually anachronistic. I’m guarding myself against that possibility.

My financial turmoil continues, largely because of my mortgage. My business has picked up enough to handle almost all of the bills for a frugal lifestyle that includes significant deferred maintenance, but it has to almost double to handle the mortgage. Even if my home is sold at the price I’ve set, housing will continue to be an unmet cost. Yet, hope and optimism find fertile ground within me.
Home For Sale
My Triple Whammy stopped me in my tracks for a day or so, but fortunately I had already built some momentum from my work as a writer and a photographer, and as a growing presence within speaking, teaching, and consulting. For the last two years I’ve used intuition and opportunity to steer and increase my momentum. Maybe a job will arise that dramatically improves my situation. Maybe my portfolio recovers soon. Maybe unexpected serendipity will arrive. Windfalls happen.

Various potential catalysts have passed as I’ve progressed. MicroVision‘s possibilities have gone from events scattered over years to possibilities every few weeks. Yet, we just passed three of them in the last week without a potential being realized. Jobs appear on the horizon and, at least so far, each has passed on to someone else. I look ahead and see more on the horizon, and wonder about some announcements that may be imminent.

I feel the same thing is happening in society. We’ve been hit with traumas and upsets. Institutions have imploded. And yet, while some unhealthy practices continue, many people are putting energy into seemingly sidelined efforts that somehow manage to maintain and increase momentum.

As you watch this story unfold, neither you nor I know if it will reach an abrupt climax, or if it will continue to improve undramatically, or if – well, nah there’s no benefit to imagining and energizing the downside. That line is true of me and our society. The only way for us to progress is to maintain our momentum. I’m not talking about progress for the sake of progress, which carries the connotation of industrialization and globalization; but progress in more of us enjoying our positive acts of living within our means and finding new ways to sustainably thrive.

It’s not quite 6pm yet. (First draft at about 1,100 words in less than an hour. Talk about momentum.) My momentum for the day is about to shift gears. One way I’ve been living closer to my means is to commute by bicycle, the same bicycle I used to cross America. (A 22 year old Trek mountain bike. It has its own version of momentum.) DSCN4803 As I ride my way home, I keep in mind that maintaining my momentum isn’t just about work or money; it is also about enjoying life. People travel from around the world to tour Whidbey by bicycle. What some consider a sign of financial constraint I consider a fine, positive thing to do. I rode this bicycle as a millionaire. I ride this bicycle as an entrepreneur, artist, and person who is happy to be alive. I won’t interrupt that momentum.

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The End Of Which World

Posted on September 7, 2013 by Tom Trimbath

Be very quiet. I don’t want to jinx the trend, but within the last few months I’ve been able to pay bills as they came in – as long as they didn’t involve the words mortgage or homeowners dues. Life is improving. My changes are happening amidst the changes we are all experiencing. Few expect our old way of life to return. Many expect a change, but there are so many possibilities that there is no consensus. Our institutions and even our philosophies that we thought were an interlocked and self-supporting society are disengaging and rearranging, with some significant renovation and reconstruction going on. What we thought was stable and secure land is showing itself to be a flotilla that is breaking up and reforming into – what we don’t know. But for any of us planning a future, we have to be open to our selves and possibilities.

We’ve had some torrential rains in the area lately. Yes, the Seattle area is known for its rain, but until recently that was usually eternal drizzle, not dynamic deluge. The return envelopes in my bills have come presealed by the humidity, which means I’m using regular envelopes to mail my checks. I’ve been happy to do so. The extra anxiety that comes from knowing unpaid bills are sitting in the inbox waiting for the money to match them is a persistent drain on responsible psyches. Partly from clients asking for more time and partly from a small buffer created by selling some stock, my mail box anxiety has diminished. It hasn’t gone completely away because I continue to receive reminders that I am tens of thousands of dollars in arrears to my mortgage company, but that may be the next thing to pass. The world that supported me several years ago dismantled itself with a Triple Whammy, and now seems to be reintegrating itself in a new form that is a mix of investment, work, and new frugality.

One of my main clients is the New Road Map Foundation, an organization that champions values-based financial literacy. The basis of the work is a Nine Step Program made popular through seminars and books by Joe Dominguez and Vicki Robin (Your Money or Your Life). The program works because each person learns how to manage their money based on their values, not values defined by New Road Map, not values defined by marketers, not values defined by any other authority. Individuals can decide to adhere to someone else’s values, but they are more likely to do so consciously and based on critical judgment instead of rote obedience. From my position as Information Manager I witness what news resonates with such a diverse crowd. The diversity is diverse, yet centered around an emergent theme of self-reliance, living in community, and using the fewest resources possible – all while enjoying life far more than before. Self-reliance is frequently tied to an acknowledgement that relying on institutions is possibly anachronistic; and that supporting to old institutions means supporting things counter to confirmed values. Make food, not war is a common theme.

A few years ago I regularly attended a gathering at the Hollyhock retreat center up on Cortes Island in British Columbia. Hollyhock A few of us had an unofficial morning ritual of tea before breakfast. The folks that got up early were the yoga crowd and the business crowd. Yoga folks greeted the sun by going indoors and exercising. The business folks greeted the stock market opening by sitting on the deck and watching the light and tide flow by. Each of us had a different perspective. I suspect you already are familiar with mine. Steve Smolinsky is a corporate and philanthropic consultant who blogs excellent rants about injustice and inequities while providing actionable insights into business and charity. Mike Brady is a portfolio manager who helps people invest their resources in more than just money by also emphasizing generosity. His videos are definitely timely and worth watching. Steve’s commentary on the state of America; “As it gets worse and worse I find that we are beginning to remind me of some of my favorite places to visit in Africa.” Mike’s commentary on the state of the American economy is basically paraphrased as, “Run For The Hills? No. But I understand why you feel that way.”

Trolling the Internet for New Road Map’s news feed exposes me to analyses like the one from James B. Glattfelder: Who controls the world? The summary is that there is no over-arcing conspiracy surreptitiously ruling the world’s economy; that the actions of a few hundred control the world’s economy; that the few hundred are a consequence of our monetary system; and that such a concentration is inherently unstable. Living within an inherently unstable system is a very good reason to establish self-reliance. Helping others establish that independence is one reason I am an advocate, past-board member, and current contractor for New Road Map. Whether our systems fragment or not, self-reliance is empowering.

Within my life and within the news feed, I am witnessing many transitions. Old worlds are dispersing, yet we rely on the financial institutions and established currencies for investment opportunities. New worlds are developing, but we can’t know if they’ll be familiar. The more things change the more they stay the same, but will that be true this time? As a Mission Planner with Sea Launch I was able to see The Ukraine as it went through the transition that was the dissolution of the USSR. People adapted readily, which merely made the struggle more bearable. We watch as other dysfunctional or distressed societies persist beyond logical expectations. North Korea persists. So does Cuba and much of Africa. Western civilization may be dysfunctional and may be unstable; yet, it may persist effectively unchanged for decades. Or it could all change tomorrow.

Dream. Invest. Live.My book that is the basis for this blog, Dream. Invest. Live. is based on the assumption that individuals with a high enough risk tolerance (definitely not everyone) have the opportunity to make money from their money, and that investing well enough enables a lifestyle based on personal needs, wants, and dreams. There are no guarantees, and there are inequities in the system, but there are ways to ameliorate those effects. Diversification and long term investing are cheap and powerful tools. I suspect, but can’t know, that my most of my basic assumptions continue to be valid despite my misfortunes. I demonstrate that belief by continuing to invest in the stock market. I am also conducting most of my life as if current currencies and financial institutions will persist long enough to define how I make and spend money, how I trade value for value.

Amongst the doom and gloom, and predictions of the dissolution of our civilization, I also am witnessing hope, progress, and a resurgence based on a redefinition of the kind of world we want to live in. Look at the headlines in Yes! Magazine. For each problem there is a possible solution. For each cry about the end of the world, they describe a new beginning. Our old worlds are changing and reforming as new worlds, and as long as we continue that trend then the end of the world may simply be the beginning to a new and better world.

My microcosm of a world is obviously in motion. A new stability and convention has yet to define itself. Maybe my world will find a new harbor. Maybe I’ll just have to be open and aware, live according to my values, and dream and plan and live. In the meantime, I will celebrate the fact that the bills are paid (ex. mortgage et al) and that I have a check to deposit. The sun is shining. It is a nice world.

Maybe later today

Maybe later today

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