How does that line go? “The first step to fixing a problem is admitting that you have one?” No worries. This isn’t some big reveal of a deep and dangerous situation, except it is, in a way. I just had five days (four nights) at Kalaloch Lodge, an oceanside lodge on a bluff in Olympic National Park. The main building has many modern amenities. The cabins, where I stayed, were comfortable, but they lacked the modern marvel of wi-fi. I’ve had to reassess my romanticized images of a life of seclusion. I learned that I’m more addicted to electrons than I expected. Oops.

I’ve quietly prided myself (there’s the first clue that something was amiss) on my ignorance of current sitcoms and network news. I spend a lot of time doing what I’m doing now, typing while sitting in my quiet tiny house. (MyTinyExperiment.net) I know that I have my favorite YouTube channels, stream a few movies a month (a week?), and am glad I can scroll through Nebula videos ad-free because I paid for the privilege. But, I’m not addicted like some folks who memorize TV schedules and live lives eyeballs to screen.

I’m not as scared as some at quiet time in a tent, or riding for hours on a bicycle, or (when my knees let me) hiking miles in wilderness. For a few years, friends and I rented cabins in winter that we’d ski to for overnight stays. Luxury was a cord of wood and fuel for lighting. Cut off from civilization? Fine!

But this week was different. Maybe it’s because I celebrated yet another birthday. Yay. Maybe it’s because my knee ache means less aerobics. It couldn’t be that it was winter. Those ski trips were on snow. Duh. But, alone, in a rented cabin, I missed the distraction of entertainment. Books are great, but I’ve been relying on quiet videos playing while I’ve tried to sleep. Music helped, but it wasn’t the same. 

Kalaloch Beach is serene. I even saw a young woman dancing in the surf. I couldn’t tell if her movements were forced or free; she was a speck on the edge of the tide line, a fraction of a mile away. In summer, it would be easier imagining doing something similar, though less artistic. The air is warmer. The light lasts longer. In the dark, it was revealing to see how hard it can be to relax and enjoy when the options were limited to reading, sitting, and stretching.

What does this have to do with personal finance?

Unreachable goals are easy to romanticize. Could I live in a cabin on my own? I think so, but that’s because there’d be so much to do. At the lodge, there was little I was allowed to do except exist, read, and all of the functions associated with food – except growing it.

I’ve been alive for decades, so I’ve taken many such vacations; but, now that videos are on-demand, I’ve become accustomed to distracting myself from my surroundings by concentrating on a laptop screen like the one I’m using now. The infinite curiosity machine can occupy any gap in reality, it seems.

So, I’m addicted, and I admit it. I doubt that I’d be a healthy hermit unless I could type (which, with my machine, relies on the internet), had just the right number of projects to keep me occupied, or could contact other people (which invalidates the concept of being a hermit.)

(AI note: While typing this post, Google Docs suddenly started ‘suggesting’ changes. I can understand it if a new version was updated between creating two files, but this was an already open file. AI doesn’t have to be sentient to take over. I worry about AI wanting to ‘help’ and getting in the way at a level far beyond messing up one writing session. About being a hermit…)

Let’s see. Where was I? Ah, yes. My addiction.

I doubt that it is specified in any philosophical text, or style guide, or system description, but our society is partly defined by its distractions. Ads, of course. Theater, obviously. Sports are more likely to be watched than played. Music is also something to listen to instead of make. 

Ah, and here I accidentally come around to personal finance. Many of our distractions are based on businesses and control. Root for this, and buy the tickets and the gear. By this brand, and show it off, and thanks for advertising our product. Watch these actors’ lives, real and fictional, to see ads or to emulate, rather than ask yourself what your self needs and wants. 

I feel that I witnessed my crossing of a line, but not so far that I can’t see it from here. I have friends who don’t follow sports, or TV (or YouTube), or many massively organized activities. I think they lead more interesting and fulfilling lives. They have personal interests instead of miming interest in a trend. They aren’t measuring themselves on others but on their personal goals. They aren’t perfect, either, but if they post on social media, it is more likely to be about something they did, not a copy/paste of what someone else said to say. They can be radical too, but they do so in their words.

I’ve also noticed that they tend to spend less, because no one knows what to sell them, and they’re fine with that. Some of the more creative create what they need, and have more stories to tell.

The emphasis on a lot of personal finance is on the finance, on the money. I think it is healthier to put the focus on the person first, then find finances to match. 

I am glad that my distractions don’t cost me much. I don’t need season tickets to my kitchen. My gear doesn’t have to be branded, or even new. But I have let my distractions distract me from my life, which is a precious commodity that I should treat with more respect, and hopefully, joy. 

And next time, I’ll get a room that has wi-fi. I’m about to embark on several trips that will lead to yet another book, and, while wi-fi can be distracting, accessing the internet will make making the book much easier. Stay tuned.