Some moments become short videos on replay inside my memories. During a recent appointment, I said the simple sentence; “I need a vacation.” The therapist somewhat playfully said; “OK. Stop describing anything else. When someone says that, they mean it. Listen to yourself, take a vacation.” A therapist with a sense of humor and timing, very valuable. I’m taking a vacation.

(By the way, one way we stop stigmatizing mental health issues is by recognizing, working on treating them, and not hiding the effort. Being poor is unhealthy. Being poor for twelve years, well, there’s a lot to unwind. I’m glad I have help. Besides, it means my friends get to hear more of the good news while someone else listens to sticky points in the bad news.)

I’m taking a vacation, and I suspect no one would notice if I didn’t mention it, but not mentioning it supports a facade of ‘the tireless worker’. Tireless? Ha! I’m tired. I think I’ll take a vacation.

I planned a pretty good one, I thought. The idea was to take a vacation after I mentioned it. It is too easy to procrastinate taking time off. It is also winter, which narrows the possibilities. Ski areas are booked up and lots of other places are closed down. Ah, but a train ride from Seattle to Pittsburgh would mean no driving, ever-changing scenery (when the Sun wasn’t blocked by clouds or the planet), and a visit with family (details of which I won’t describe.) Hello, Amtrak! Make lots of reservations. Coordinate with everyone else. Get ready. And. And…Amtrak canceled the trip. It’s winter, which evidently makes a difference. Engage contingency plans.

I’m calling it a vacation, but I prefer the term used by podcast partner, Steve Smolinsky – Clarity Break. Vacations can be for fun, or relaxation, or therapy, or – vacations can be for the sake of vacations. Steve has written and talked about something that is obvious and discussed but frequently overlooked. Quiet time, time spent doing something where habits can’t follow breaks habits and lets the mind unwind. Surprisingly, quiet time also lets the quiet parts of the mind finally be heard. Clarity ensues.

But where to go? If the mountains are busy, go to the coast. Even the cold, wet, Olympic Peninsula coast is busy. I forgot about the three-day weekend for MLK Jr. Finally, I found a place relatively close to home, a place I’ve visited but never stayed at: La Push. A few nights in a seaside cabin. Sounds romantic. Ah, but it’s only me. Sounds quiet, except for waves and gulls. 

It also breaks conventions. As I understand it, it is on tribal land, National Park land, and so far on the edge that there may not be internet (gasp!), or hot water (shiver, but maybe only for a night), though I’m hoping for heat and electricity. Stay tuned. I remember winter tent camping. At least I’ll be in a cabin.

I mention all of this even though it is something I’m sure you’ve heard before. Take care of yourself. I edit that to, take care of yourself as you can. I haven’t taken an entire week off in over a decade, and not by choice. Did I use the word ‘poor’ earlier? Yeah. That. 

Taking care of yourself is a necessity, and yet affording it at will can be a luxury. American workers are notorious for not taking all of their vacation time, and I’m not surprised. Even paid time off costs money unless the person stays home and stares at the walls. (Did I mention that other people might benefit from a therapist, too?)

I also know me. Even without the internet, I’ll probably write, and more accurately, type. Losing ideas can be frustrating. As I just mentioned to someone on social media (bluesky?), I’m working on the sequel to Dream. Invest. Live., a sequel to the Exodus/Genesis series, and of course, my blogs and podcast work. It sounds like a lot, but I’ve throttled down to about one-third speed since finishing Fire Race. Oh yeah, and there’s the movie screenplay I’m working on. Yeah. I need a vacation.

The cost of this vacation will not cost wow, but it will feel like it because I am out of practice and still cautious. Poor does that.
This scene from White Christmas came to mind when Phil and Bob talk about how much something is going to cost.
Phil Davis: How much is “wow”?
Bob Wallace: It’s right in between, uh, between “ouch” and “boing”
Fortunately, this trip will be closer to ouch than boing, but if I didn’t take it at all, the hospital bill may be boing and ouch and oh dear.

Dear Therapist, Thanks for the kick in the butt or at least the gentle noogie. I might even get that train trip in later, and there’s a music festival I’d like to dance at, and some friends I haven’t seen in years, and hiking and biking and…and I’ll check back on that financial caution and the world in general. You see, I buy lottery tickets, and some of my stocks look a lot like them.

Cheers. I’ll be back soon.

(PS My apologies for skipping the links and photos and such, but, you see, I’ve got this vacation thing going on.)