Three quiet conversations. Three friends with good news. Three times when I was happy enough that I probably didn’t respond correctly. A faux pas is proof that I am imperfect and human. Three moments that reminded me that, regardless of the waves of bad news, some good news is celebrated delicately, privately, and quietly – regardless of my desire to holler Yippee!!! Just because we don’t always hear about it, good things are happening. Remembering that can be harder than it should be.

Don’t worry. If you’re one of the three I won’t be spilling your news. But I won’t be apologizing for smiling every time I think of your news, or your news, or your news. Smiles are precious. Don’t deny their delivery.

Humans live off drama. Some study or TED Talk pointed out that humans may have evolved to respond to drama. Celebrating a sunset can be sweet, but worrying about a possible tiger in the grass can mean avoiding being eaten for dinner. One is nice. One in necessary.

Advertisers play off our fears and anxieties. I haven’t seen the data, but it seems that ‘You could die of this or that. So buy our product that might save you.’ sells better than ‘Buy insurance because having insurance can be a prudent and responsible thing to do.’ Drama sells.

Drama also sells stories. Serenity does not sell well. In each of my Twelve Month books about the Cascades, drama was easier to write and easier for readers to remember than the serenity that motivates the effort. Rock slides, a meteor blowing up, and stumbling across a cougar are definitely more dramatic than the appeal of sitting by a lake for hours while reading a book, watching the scenery, or taking a nap.

Old news. Read Dante’s Inferno. It is an old book, and it is part of a trilogy. Basically, Inferno is about traveling through hell, including horrific tortures. Pugatorio is about prugatory, which is at least known for things like Sisyphus rolling a rock up a hill. Paradisio is about paradise; and was boring in comparison (at least to me) because nothing bad happens. According to Google Trends, Inferno is more than twice as popular as Purgatorio. Paradisio doesn’t even get a score. So much for paradise.

Is it the age of trolls that makes us want to hide successes? My mother had a bit of that ‘don’t tempt fate’ philosophy that didn’t advertise good news because it might attract the bad news to counter it. How many Devil’s Advocates are proud of pointing out the caveats and imperfections in someone’s new situation? Tough love, or just tough? How about ‘congratulations’?

Of course, too much of a good thing can be too much. Toxic positivity can happen when the realities of drama, struggle, and strife are actively ignored. Not being positive enough can be a trigger to unleash admonitions that a person is being a victim, or a pessimist, or a cynic.

Emotions and their responses shouldn’t be the subject of shoulds.

I smile when I think of my friends’ quiet good fortune. To be socially correct I’ll only discuss it with them, though I’ll be glad to hear that others know about it too. Shared joy is amplified.

For many, finances are not an issue, or at least not an existential one. When finances are existential, I think it is healthy to mention it. To do otherwise is like navigating a minefield without looking where you are stepping. Look up and smile! Boom. Watch where you are going, and maybe tell others how you’ve found your path, and listen to others who have also made that journey.

We’re coming out of one set of crises (the pandemic, et at.) and possibly walking into a new set (AI, aliens, et al.)

I want to hear both stories, the good and the bad, the optimist and the pessimist. The world has both and a complete life has to deal with both. I understand why the media is driven to focus on the drama. I can also understand why personal good news can be quiet. I wish we heard more of the latter and less of former; but, in the meantime, I will apply my personal filter to both sources of news. And, I’ll plan on keeping in mind that it can’t always be bad and it can’t always be good, and a lot of both is kept quiet. That’s a good reason to listen, and maybe quietly pat friends on their backs as they go through drama, or celebrations, or both.